Under 12 Match Report: St.George's 4 - LEFC 2

Scorers: Ryan, Matt H

Assists: Matt H, Ryan

Man of the Match: Nass

Team: Tom, Matt D, Josh, Anupam, William, Nass, Ahmed, Jake, Matt H, James, Cedrick, Kirk, Ryan

Thank you’s: All the drivers/supporters & particularly James’ Dad, Ian

After 7 weeks of inactivity our lads got back to their weekly diet of Saturday morning football on a pudding of a pitch that had the viscosity of a bowl of winter porridge. With our top scorer, Hitman Hart grounded for off the field disciplinary issues the striking duties fell to the mercurial Kirk and the twinkletoed Ryan. We bossed the first 15 minutes, taking a deserved lead when Matt H fed Ryan with a beauty of a pass. We could have added more, hitting the post, forcing a number of corners and narrowly missing in a series of goalmouth scrambles.

But as the match wore on the pitch surface mutated from pritt stick to super glue. As half time approached our lads were wandering around with the sort of platform boots that made the Bay City Rollers famous (for a couple of months). Our dreamy passing game was starting to wilt and we slumped into half time 2-1 down.

Undeterred we plied the lads with bottles of high energy drink that the club secretary had acquired from an unnamed source. With a couple of galleons of this stuff sloshing around inside my team there could only be one winner. I didn’t bother with much of a team talk and just stood back and waited for lift off. Sadly the only discernable effect of the high energy drink was the frequent number of pitstops that had to be made on the journey home and the soiled upholstery in the rear of my vehicle – they’ll be serious grief if my Mrs moves my daughter’s booster seat (or reads the club blog) in the next few days. I can’t rule out the possibility that it could be the manager who gets the next grounding for off the field disciplinary issues.

The second half saw us continue to struggle to adapt to the conditions, conceed another 2 goals and then stage a late rally where we missed an open goal, hit another post and finally scored a deserved second when Ryan turned provider for Matt H. Rumour has that Matt’s Dad cut his goal scoring fee on account of the fact that it was an open goal. If you want to make a living in this game Matt get your contracts in writing.

I think St George’s have stolen our crown as the most disorganised team in the league. Last week they allowed us to treck over from Loughborough before calling the game off for a frozen pitch and this week they decided a couple of minutes before kick off that they hadn’t got a ref and asked whether we could provide one! Fortunately James’ Dad Ian stepped into the breach.