Assists: Sajid 2, Ryan 2, Nass2, Matt D, Matt H, Cedrick
Man of the Match: Where do I start?
Crowd Watch: 9 home supporters (a record for this season!)
Thank yous: Andy (nets), Dominic/Maurice (transport), Dave (lining/coaching), Allestree Colts Manager (as always, very sporting)
The Squad that made history: Tom ‘the cat’ Stanton, Sajid ‘the scyther’ Al Zubayel, Richard ‘the partypooper’ Adams, Matt ‘Get Back’ Duxbury, Josh ‘bonecruncher’ Elliott, Nass ‘the terminator’ Tourki, Matt ‘relentless’ Harris, Cedrick ‘Usain’ Nattrass, Ahmed ‘Captain’ Aljaf, James ‘determination’ Craig, Kieron ‘the hitman’ Hart, Ryan ‘twinkle toes’ Bancroft and William ‘the bulldozer’ Wilson.
The old codgers amongst you may remember that when a team rattled up a cricket score on a Saturday afternoon the old fashioned teleprinter would print the score in words as well as in numbers, just in case the viewers couldn’t believe the numbers. On Saturday morning a rampaging Emmanuel team had a serious teleprinter moment.
Ahmed started it off by cutting a ball back across the goalmouth instead of trying to shoot from an impossible angle (all other players please take not). The Allestree defender applied the finishing touch. After that things started to get a bit out of hand. In the time it took for Kieron’s Mum to walk to and from the burger van the lads rattled in another 3. Ryan’s 2 goals were quite outstanding – the trickery to get past the last man, the strength to hold off the defenders and the coolness to finish. In between times Ahmed scored with an audacious lob from outside the box.
Despite the 4-0 half time score it hadn’t been totally one way traffic and Tom was back to his brilliant best with a couple of outstanding saves that had his grateful defenders high-fivng him.
With Ryan now level with Kieron in the race for the golden boot and the sight of a seriously spooked Allestree defence, the hitman was drawling like a St Bernard’s dog on the subs bench. It was time to mark his territory. In the second half, courtesy of some great passing from his teammates, the heartless Hart crushed the opposition and rewrote the Emmanuel record books.
At the other end the defence were determined to get a slither of glory and fought to the final whistle to keep their clean sheet. Some other mentions: William was back to his bulldozing best, hassling the opposition and very unlucky not to score with a crashing drive and a cute volley; and Josh, who combined well with Ahmed and came within a whisker of scoring his first league goal.
Let’s check out what the history makers have done today:
The highest number of goals they have ever scored in any form of football in 7 years.
The highest margin of victory they have ever had in any form of football in 7 years.
The first time that 2 players have ever scored hat-tricks in the same match.
Only the second (and third) time that players have scored hat-tricks in the league.
The first time that a player has scored 4 goals in league football.
The 1st time that the team have ever had 4 successive victories.
The first time that the team have ever had a positive goal difference in the league.
Kieron has broken his own league goal scoring record; and
The team have broken their league goal scoring record - 26 compared to last season’s 20.
Sports shops in Derbyshire have reported a sudden increase in sales of asbestos underpants.
Next week Division 1’s Chellaston A come to town for a meaningless cup match…the bad news for Chellaston is that our lads don’t know the meaning of the word meaningless. Bring it on…
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